Over the past three years throughout my healing process, I have been through so many ups and downs it can make my head spin thinking about it. From day to day, and often hour to hour, the way I felt would drastically change! Sometimes I was lucky enough to know what caused the change, yet often there was no explanation. For instance, sometimes just walking up and down my stairs at home, cooking a meal, or going to the grocery store would exhaust me to the point that I would need to take a nap to recover. Eating something or hugging someone that had perfume on, could take me down for hours or even days with an allergic reaction.
I’m writing this blog in hopes I can help those of you that deal with similar situations regarding fluctuations in your healing process. The keyword is PROCESS. So often we want the quick fix, the pill that takes all the pain away and gets us back to our lives. However, true healing can take time, patience and compassion. True healing requires loving yourself enough to do the hard work!
Below are some tools I have used, and still use, as I continue to manage my healing process:
- Remember that healing is a commitment. It is a CHOICE! Yes, a CHOICE! I have mentioned in other blogs that I have yes’d my healing. And you can too! Choose to heal, say YES to what you deserve – a healthy, vibrant, energetic, joyful life. Remind yourself 50 times a day if you have to that you choose to be a healthy life!
- Practice patience while it all unfolds. This has been one of the most difficult aspects of my healing process. I knew I wasn’t in for the quick fix, but three years – geez! I had a business to run, a husband to explore life with, kids and grandkids to visit and dreams to fulfill. Yet I sat, and often slept, as I patiently waited for the answers to unfold and the healing to happen. And when I became inpatient, as I often did, I re-focused back on the end result and remembered I am worth it. It hasn’t been easy, but definitely worth it all.
- Be willing to make drastic changes. I have written an entire other blog about this topic so please refer to it for more information. What I will say now is to remember that the changes will come over time. You most likely WILL need to make some drastic changes in order to fully heal, yet you DO NOT need to make the changes all at once. As you YES your healing, you will be guided each step of the way (by God, your Guides and Angels etc.). And, if you choose to allow yourself to make important lifestyle changes that show up for you with each step, your life will forever be changed for the better!
- Celebrate the wins, no matter how seemingly small. Over the past couple years I have often found myself looking at everything that was still so hard or not improving with regards to the allergic reactions I was experiencing, especially when I was in physical pain from the rashes. I would forget just how much progress I was actually making. It was when I started a gratitude journal that I really began to see the progress and appreciate how my commitment to healing was paying off. Just today I gave thanks out loud to my husband and doctor for being able to wear jeans and bras again. This may not seem like much for most people, but is huge for me! This past couple weeks I have celebrated the fact that when I begin to itch I am more easily able to control it by noticing what might be causing the experience. Whether I need to pray/meditate, cleanse my chakras, change a conversation, walk away from someone, take a Benadryl etc., I am so grateful that I am now able to quickly manage the itching attacks. Each improvement, every new win, is progress worth celebrating!
- Stay focused on the dream. Staying sane over the past couple years has had a lot to do with my mental attitude. More specifically, holding and expressing a positive attitude about my future. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a proponent of “always being positive”. After-all, that is what got me in this mess in the first place. I have learned that it is important, in fact vital, to feel all my feelings, and I have become pretty good at it – finally!! However, having hope has driven my ambition, commitment, and trust in the process. Everyones dream is different. For me, it has been to completely heal so I can actually live, rather than merely survive, and so I can help others heal. Knowing those two things are possible has fueled me greatly during the hard times.
- Acknowledge the shitty times! Be ok with saying “this sucks!” or “I want this to fucking end now!”. Be willing to throw a tantrum, cry, be sad, throw something. Call a friend or family member and say, “I don’t want to hear what I should be doing or how I can make myself feel better – I just want to tell you that this SUCKS”. And once you get it all out, return to the dream. Whether you are “stuck in your shit” for an hour, a day, or a week, be ok with it. Acknowledge it. Embrace it. Just make sure you also take responsibility for it. This is an important part of the process. It is vital to feel all your feelings as I said in the last bullet point. It is just as important to own it, and then re-focus your thoughts on whats possible. As often as possible, end the day knowing what is possible for your future!
- Listen to your body. Your body will tell you exactly what it needs, and listening pays off. For me listening to the day-to-day needs of my body has been instrumental when it comes to the number of good versus bad days I have. The more I listen, the more good days I have. For me that could look like napping when I know my body needs it, even if it is not convenient at the time; stopping to pray or meditate throughout the day when I am called to do so; stepping away from my work computer every two hours as staring at the screen contributes to the adrenal fatigue I have been experiencing; taking time to walk on the beach or get out and do some gardening; and/or eating the foods my body wants/needs no matter how much I am craving something else. On a larger scale, my family is very adventurous. My mom, sister and brother are often off traveling the world and taking on new adventures. I am invited much of the time, and have learned to be ok with saying no. For many years the “no” came with guilt, and often jealousy, which only contributed to my victim attitude. However, the past three years I have learned that “no” is a beautiful word. Saying “no” to others meant saying “yes” to me!
- Have Grace when it comes to getting it wrong! If you are like me, you will make choices that are counter productive to your healing process at times. You will eat foods that don’t serve you, or worse yet, that make things worse for you. You will not listen to your body and over-task your system at times. You will miss important appointments, fail at taking your supplements regularly, ignore warning signs that can lead to set backs and so forth. Remember, this is a process. I have lived 37 years with this and have made many, many choices that do not serve me. I used to call them mistakes, but in reality, they are choices! So now I am learning to have Grace with my choices. To forgive myself and start all over. Each time I realize I “didn’t do as good as I could have,” I remember that “in this very moment I get to start all over again.” The past is the past. So I forgive myself, reset my attitude, remember my dream, and move forward with Grace! This has taken practice. Yet, once I got good at it, I felt more free than ever!
- Don’t do it alone. The healing process is not easy, or necessarily fun. When it gets tough, reach out to your village. I realize that I have been super blessed with a very large village. My friends, family, doctors, and spiritual coaches have been my biggest cheerleaders and support system. If you don’t have a strong village of individuals supporting you in your “Yes”, reach out and find them immediately! Seek people that believe in you and your process. Tell them your needs and make sure they understand your vision for yourself. Remember that it is good to find cheerleaders, and you also want to find individuals that will help hold you accountable in your choice to “Yes” a full healing.