For over 20 years now I have heard my wonderful mom say that she is peeling away the layers of her past. I remember often thinking things like “damn, how many layers does one person need to peel away” or “at what point do you stop peeling, and start living” or “this looks like too much work, I’d rather not peel” etc.
My mom is a very positive, joyful, loving person. What I am talking about is her spiritual path in relation to her healing journey. I think we could all agree that every person in this world has their “stuff”. Even with healthy, functional parents, part of the life cycle includes differences of opinions at best, severe trauma at worst, and everything in between. One thing my journey has taught me is that if we don’t deal with our “stuff”, it will deal with us!
I was often so perplexed at how “hard” my moms path seemed to be, which actually kept me from wanting to go down the spiritual path she was on. I don’t blame her, as I know it was my choice to use this as an excuse not to see my truth. The reality is that I avoided opening up spiritually out of fear that it would be “to hard”. And in many ways, it is hard. Yet, what I did not realize is that it was so much harder not to choose to open up, to heal, to face the truth and deal with it.
I have also learned that healing is a process. So often we look for the quick fix, the magic pill, etc. In reality, true healing is a journey, and one that comes as our bodies and minds can handle it. The past three years have been very tough in so many ways. And, with each step forward, ease and grace have been the light leading the way.
Would I have loved to see a doctor, take a pill, and then boom, my auto-immune disease would have been gone? I suppose in the beginning I would have said yes to that question. Today I would run so fast from that option. This is a topic for another blog, but I do believe there is a place for western and eastern medicine in nearly everyones healing process. However, what I also know is that if you don’t get down to the root of what is causing the illness, a pill cannot truly heal you. It may mask the symptoms, it may even make you feel better temporarily, yet it will not heal you, and it will often even lead to greater issues.
Three years ago I chose to heal the underlying issues; I chose to start peeling! I sure have been surprised as I’ve learned just how many layers I have!
Here is a breakdown of the different layers I am unraveling:
- The physical aspects from how my body parts were effected by past sexual abuse
- The emotional aspects of the past sexual traumas
- The physical ramifications of waiting so long to deal with everything
- The emotional ramifications of waiting so long to deal with everything
- Traumas brought into this lifetime from past lives
- Physical and emotional imbalances brought into this lifetime from DNA of other family members
- Physical and emotional stresses on the body from other life events that effected my overall health (ex: my fathers death)
I realize this can look very overwhelming and scary, and possibly make you want to run for the hills. And, I won’t lie and say it has been easy. But the last 36 years of suffering (45 if you count from the day I was first molested at age 6), has been much, much harder than the past three years! The best part, and something that is important to understand, is that your layers will happen at a pace that works for you! My story is not your story. My mom has unraveled her layers of trauma slowly over many years, yet think of the stories you have heard about instantaneous healings. For those wonderful souls, many of their layers were all unraveled at once.
In addition, the way in which you go about the healing process will determine the length of time in which it takes to peel away your layers. Some individuals have the ability to focus solely on healing, others must work while going through the process. Some treatments take longer than others as well. For instance, I am using NAET doctors and I see them once or twice a week. I have been doing so for a year and a half now. Each week we unravel another layer. I have literally watched the physical manifestations of this process happen in front of my eyes, and it has been magical! Although not a fast process, it is relatively inexpensive and has been absolutely life changing for me!
The how and what is up to each individual person based on individual needs, available time, finances, and support. What’s most important is to that you take that first step and begin unraveling. Start peeling! You wont regret it. It may take awhile, it may not. Remember that the same amount of time will pass whether or not you choose to begin the healing process.
And please, whatever you do, don’t give up! When it gets too hard, and it probably will at times, reach deep within your soul and remember that you are worth it! Ask God to embrace you, guide you and show you he’s got you! Ask your Guides and Angels to show you the way and help answer your questions. Reach out to your village and let them wrap you in their arms.
You are worthy of peace and joy. You are deserving of true healing! You, too, are a warrior with gifts to bring to our planet, and it is time to come out and play!