Two weeks ago I received a phone call that launched me directly into a place of fear. As I sat on the phone listening intently, my mind began to race. The call had nothing to do with my healing, but it sure could have hindered the process, if I let it. The key words being “if I let it”.
As I hung up, I immediately felt the stress take over my body, and my mood changed instantly. All that was going great in my day disappeared, as if it had been the worst day ever.
Within minutes the stress began to manifest externally, and I started to itch all over. Rubbing my eyes intensely, my first thought was that I was having an allergic reaction. My arms, legs and chest were itching and I took a towel and used it to rub my skin; a practice I used to do quite often, and have worked diligently on letting go of.
After a few minutes of noticing the reaction, I did something I have been practicing a lot the past couple months. I pulled the towel away, paused and listened to my body. Within a minute or two, I recognized that it was stress, and not an allergic reaction. First step accomplished – Noticing what my body was trying to tell me!
At first I tried to use discipline and force to stop scratching, which only made me feel the itch more because I was trying to use one forceful energy to combat another. I recognized that I was putting my energy on the very thing I wanted to go away, which turned out to be counterproductive, as it was only making me itch more. Once again, I paused and asked what my body needed. I quickly heard the answer, meditate! Feeling the need to keep working though, I was resistant to step away and listen to what my body was asking me to do. I tried to ignore the strong impulse that I had to go into the meditation room, which I am now clear was my body screaming at me to listen. I don’t remember how long it took but after some time of suffering and attempting to keep working I realized that I was not honoring my commitment to listen more to my higher Self and God. Finally, I chose to give up what I thought I “should” be doing (from the EGO), and do what I knew was right for my Spirit.
I first used a little sage to help clear the heavy energy from my body, and then I turned to my singing bowl to set the tone of the room. Listening once again to what was next for me, I brought up a meditation by Reverand Michael Bernard Beckwith from Agape International Spiritual Center. The meditation I chose spoke directly to me and addressed my situation as if it were meant specifically for me! Thank you Spirit!:)
Over the next hour I meditated and sank more and more into the now. Letting go of my worries about the future, I realized that everything that was happening was part of the process, and absolutely meant to be. I saw that God was saying it was time to deal with this situation, and I knew from deep within my heart and soul, that everything waw going to be ok. Ultimately, I surrendered and found peace once again. This is a situation I had not had the stamina to address over the past three years, and now I knew it was time to handle it and put it behind me. I have since learned that this was actually a part of my healing process and very necessary.
In my spiritual studies, I often hear that fear is the opposite of love. That we can choose one or the other, not both at the same time. That experience proved that theory to be true. At some point during the meditation, everything changed. The itching completely stopped, my body calmed and my heart rate slowed. The fear had dissipated and I felt only love. This situation helped me see just how powerful, and damaging, fear can be to our health. More importantly, the experience, along with many others lately, have helped me see how much control we truly have over our health, if we choose to listen to what our bodies are telling us.
Here are a few questions for you to ponder when it comes to fear in your life: How often does fear show up in your life, and how often do you let it take you down? What tools do you have in place to notice and do something about your fear? Is it working? If not, what else are you willing to try?